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Soul Ties -The Emotional Trauma Associated With Sexual Immorality

By Debbie Adebayo
Soul ties and emotional consequences of sexual immorality.

There are physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of sexual intercourse.  There is often significant emotional trauma associated with sexual immorality and it usually manifest itself in a variety of ways including the development of a soul tie.  Soul ties are exactly what they sound like. They are ties from one person's soul to another person's soul.  According to 1 Thessalonians 5:23, man is made up of three parts: spirit, soul and body.  Soul ties are intimate bonds to another human being.  1 Corinthians 6:12-20 says:


12.  All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

 13.  Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

 14.  And God both raised up the Lord and will also raise us up by His power.

 15.  Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not!

 16.  Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For "The two,'' He says, "shall become one flesh.''

 17.  But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.

 18.  Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.

 19.  Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?

20.    For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.


In these verses, Paul made it perfectly clear to the Corinthian Christians sexual intercourse is more than a biological experience; it involves a communion of life.  Every time you have sexual intercourse with someone you become one flesh with that person.  You are united to that person in every way possible.  Your spirit, emotions, every aspect of your being is united with that person.  It is not just a physical act where you release sexual tension.  You become joined to the person or people you have sex with.  One of the meanings of the word joined in the Greek means "glued to" so when you have sex with someone that you are not married to you become glued to them.  Whenever you pull apart something that has been glued together there is always damage to one or both parts and some times it is very painful to disconnect the parts.  That is why the emotional trauma after single adults are involved in sexual immorality is so intense. Sometimes when there is a separation of something glued together, a portion of one of the parts may remain attached even when the two parts have separated.   Some of us have glued ourselves to all kinds of people through fornication and adultery and that is why our lives are so messed up and we are not free to live for Jesus.  Only the power of God can set you free from the entrapments sexual immorality bring into your lives.


Some indicators that you have ungodly soul ties from sexual immorality include:

v     You permit the person you are sexually involved with to mistreat and abuse you.

v     Even when the relationship is over, you can't stop thinking about the person.  Many times you cannot get over the relationship and will do anything to keep the relationship going.

v     After an extended period of time the relationship still brings you emotional pain and even depression.

v     Every time you see the person or talk to them even though the relationship is over you are drawn back to that person. 


Not all soul ties are ungodly, however, and soul ties can be formed without sexual intercourse.  Soul ties can be formed in relationships where two people are just close friends as was the case with David and Jonathon.  1 Samuel 18:1 says: 


Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.


In this passage of scripture, David and Jonathan became such close friends, that their souls became knitted or bonded together.  David and Jonathan both esteemed the other more highly than themselves, and neither one tried to control the other's life. 


Ungodly soul ties however will open the door for evil spirits to enter into our lives.  Anytime we sin and don't deal with it quickly, we will always give place to the devil, and he will never miss an opportunity to enter into our lives and set up house.  This is a spiritual principle from Ephesians 4:26-27 and Proverbs 29:6.


Ephesians 4:26-27 says:

Be angry, and do not sin'': do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.

Proverbs 29:6 says:

In the transgression of an evil man there is a snare: but the righteous doth sing and rejoice.


This snare that results from the ungodly soul ties will be an evil spirit that will enter into our life and begin to bring torment.  We have all heard the saying, "A man who lays down by a dog with fleas, gets up with fleas."  There is a parallel in the spiritual realm to this, and it is - whenever you lay down with someone to commit sexual immorality, you may get up with the same evil spirits they had.  Not to mention you may also end up with their venereal disease.  1 Corinthians 5:6 ask the question, "Do you not know, that a little leaven will leaven the whole lump?"  A little bit of sin that we allow into our life will quickly spread and bring corruption to every part of our life.


If we have made an "ungodly soul tie" at some time in our past, and it has not been broken, it will hinder any future relationships that we may enter into.  It will keep us from properly bonding with our spouses.  If you have gotten a divorce, those soul ties from that marriage may still be there.  Just because you have a piece of paper in hand that says the marriage is over, doesn't nullify the principles that God spoke forth from the beginning.  Marriage is a covenant relationship and not a contract.  It is very important that all ungodly soul ties be broken, including those from previous relationships.


Have you ever heard people talking about a marriage in which the husband is very abusive to the wife, even to the point of beating her?  Then you hear that she finally couldn't take it anymore, and leaves him, only to return after a short time.  You may ask yourself, "How could she return to that kind of lifestyle?"  It's because of the soul tie that has been made and it seems that there is an invisible cord between them.  This can explain how two people can have a sexual relationship, even if only once, and still after many years have thoughts of one another they just can't seem to get rid of.  It's because of the soul tie, and until it's broken, you will never be totally free.  


Soul ties are broken by:

Ø     Asking God in prayer to show you if you have soul ties that need to be severed.  If the Lord brings people to mind or you think there is a possibility of a soul tie, proceed to pray to cut the soul tie.

Ø     Make sure that all unforgiveness has been dealt with.  

Ø    Be willing to submit yourself to the Lord and be directed only by His guidance

God demands first place in our hearts.  When our strongest soul tie is to God, there is a divine covering and protection that will enable us to withstand forming ungodly soul ties.

Ø     Be willing to acknowledge and confess as sin any sexual immorality leading to the ungodly soul tie.





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